Well, live and learn. Like, now I know not to drink the water in Mexico, which, by the way, somebody should really tell you.

So this last week I had the privledge of going on a cruise to Mexico with my mom, dad, and sister. It's a good thing we went because I was quite bummed about school being over, and losing my 4th graders. I really needed the pick-me-up. Let's just say that it was quite the entertaining trip. I decided that I would reaccount it to you to make up for not posting in such a long time.

Rylee and  I showing off our room.

Day 1(Sunday): We got on the boat around 3:00, and discovered the deck with all the food. Rylee and I were completely shocked over how much food could be around to eat. Little did we know that we would have the buffet restaurant memorized in a matter of days. We didn't have our sea legs yet, so we pretty much spent the day eating, laying out, and zigging and zagging around the boat running into things because we couldn't walk straight.

Our boyfriends for the week.

Day 2 (Monday): Today was a day at sea while we were on our way to Cabo San Lucas. I vowed that I would run every day that we were at sea, so I woke up and ran around the track on the top deck. Let me tell you something, there isn't much to look at when you are running on a track on the top of a cruise ship and you are surrounded by water. Once again we spent the day eating, laying out, and eating. I had now conquered the ice cream machine, and had learned how to make quite the legit ice cream cone.

All ready to go lay out on the top deck.

Day 3 (Tuesday): We arrived at Cabo today. Unfortunately there wasn't a dock large enough for our ship, so we had to ride in tender boats to get to shore. We spent the majority of the morning waiting around for a tender boat so we could go exploring. Once we finally got on shore we were attacked by "tour guides" wanting to take us on a "Glass Bottom Boat" tour. We dodged them and entered a store where we were attacked by salesmen telling us to come look at their stuff because everything has a "really good price." We looked around for awhile, then Rylee decided that she needed to go to the bathroom. We found a bathroom, and let me tell you, you know you are in Mexico when there is a lady outside the bathroom door handing out toilet paper and hand paper towels with a tip jar sitting right next to her.

Hanging out on the tender boat.

After Rylee relieved herself we decided to try our luck with the "Glass Bottom Boat" muchachos. We weren't sure if we should do it because part of the deal is that they leave you on a beach so you can look around, then they come pick you up later. We were worried that we would never get picked back up. Finally we found Carlos, or should I say Carlos found us. My dad asked him how we knew that he would come pick us back up from the beach. Carlos simply explained that if he doesn't then we can complain to the "men in white shirts and black pants with guns" and we get our money back and they confiscate his boat. We decided that was motiviation enough for him to come pick up us poor, sad Americans, so we got it his boat.

Hanging out outside the bathrooms.

We got into the "Bronson Bros," a boat that would be on its last leg if boats had legs. As we were walking into the boat we practically tripped over the "glass bottom" portion of the boat. It was a 1 foot by 3 feet section of glass (apparently that met the requirements of being a glass bottom boat). Carlos then began to hand out life jackets. They were probably the largest size you can possibly get in life jackets, and they stunk like mildew and fish. Carlos explained that we have to wear these otherwise we'll get pulled over and he'll get in trouble. We reluctantly pulled them on and peered out of the top of the opening (seeing as they were so large that they practically covered half of our faces). Hernando, the boat driver, then edged our way out of the millions of boats docked. We inched forward and backward for about 10 minutes, then he was able to get the boat out of its tight spot. Off we went!

Some birds on a rock.

Let me take this time to paint you a picture of Carlos and Hernando: Carlos was probably a few inches shorter than me and many inches wider than me. He had quite the pot belly, and his hair was dyed black and fashioned in a comb over. We wore a pink salmon button up shirt with the top few buttons left undone, so you can see his sexy gray chest hair. His shirt was so tight around his belly that the spaces between the buttons were gapping open to give you a peek show of the marvels beneath. Basically, he was the king of classy. Hernando was this short, small man who didn't speak a lick of English. He was all smiles and really quiet.

Lovers Beach

The first stop was by Lover's Beach. As soon as this cave came into sight Hernando started to go off in Spanish and Carlos started laughing his head off. He turned to us and said, "Oh, maybe I should translate. It doesn't sound as good in English because it doesn't rhyme, but basically what he said, 'Two people walk into that cave, and three come out... 9 months later.'" We all laughed for a few good minutes, and Hernando seemed pretty pleased with himself. Carlos, of course, wanted to put in his two cents, so he said, "That there is the cheapest hotel in Cabo!" Hernando then spouted off a bunch more Spanish, and Carlos practically started rolling on the glass bottom of the boat laughing. He then explained that Hernando took his wife to the cave once, and while they were in the cave his boat floated away. While heading toward the main beach Carlos then started to talk about his family. He said he had a son the was an accountant, a son that was a lawyer, and a son that was a dancer. "I thought he was a fag," he exclaimed.

The cheapest hotel in Cabo

We finally got to the beach where they let us off, but not before Carlos reminded us a million times of when we needed to be back to the shore for him to pick us up. He went off about crazy American boys who drink more than they can handle and forget to show up for him to pick them up. We nodded and said that we would remember, and would be careful not to drink more than we could handle.  Once on shore, we shopped for a bit, ate some tasty tacos, and relaxed on the beach.  Don't you worry, we remembered to get back to the beach for Carlos to pick us up.

A musical family (kind of like the Von Trapps)

Day 4 (Wednesday): Today was another day at Cabo, but we decided just to chill on the ship and enjoy it being mostly empty.  Once again we ate, layed out, and ate some more.  Oh, we also went to a comedy show at night.  That was pretty entertaining.

Towel animals are the best!

Day 5 (Thursday): Another day at sea.  See above for our schedule.

Waiting for Rylee to finish getting ready.

Day 6 (Friday): Today we arrived at Puerto Vallarta.  This is one beautiful city.  It is so green and lush.  We were super excited because we had a shore excursion to go zip-lining through the forest. I thought I would be terrified to zip-line that high up, but the zip-lining was nothing compared to the drivers we had to get us up the mountain. Man, did I think I was going to die that day. The zip-lining was amazing.  We went through trees, over rivers, and through a small canyon.  It was breathtaking (in more ways that one).

On the bus heading up to go zip-lining.

After we were done zip-lining we walked down the mountain a bit, and ate at a restaurant they had up there.  It was really good.  Authentic Mexican food is the best.  After eating, we headed back to the ship so we wouldn't get left.

Hanging out at the restaurant.

Day 7 (Saturday): Today was a day at sea. Already we were headed back to California.  I was so sad to get back to real life.  I have decided that cruises are one of my favorite ways to vacation.  If you haven't gone on one, do it!

Showing off our knock-off Ray Bans that we bought in Cabo.